Leap Of Faith = Awakening = Evolvement = Purpose = Destiny = You...

For the purpose of obedience, in 2004 when it was placed on my mind....

...by divine purpose (of course)...

...to trust my inner voices, to take a leap of faith.

I had no idea what that would entail.

I trusted my instinct.

I trusted God.

Though there had been many times I'd wished for some sort of interference from the Almighty One,

and though he was guiding me the entire time, it was because I trusted and listened is when strayed away.

...which was often.

But as man say...."we are only human."

I'm not sure what man actually said that, but I've never believed it.

Not for one second.

Ya see I actually listen and speak to my ancestors and allow them to guide my ways.

And they've yet to fail me.

Only thing is I'd been not obedient at times as we most are at times....

...doing things we know that one day we will suffer of it's consequences for our actions.

But you only get tired of being tired for so long.

This is where GOD is really listening up.

He's always listening....but this is where he wants to hear what your humbling experience you've encountered in your life.

OF course he knew it was gonna happen.

He couldn't just SHOW you!....

....you would've never learned anything.

You'd still be asleep at the wheel.

And with ALL that's stored within you, that you have not yet discovered(or maybe you have)....the last thing you want to do is leave this planet without contributing your part to the fulfillment of purposes throughout the Universe.

Every being has a purpose.

Believe it.

But FIRST....let me tell you about the Leap of Faith and how it started my journey towards Awakening. ...

It was 2004 and I'd just put in my two week notice at a place I wouldn't miss nor would stay if they paid me twice or three times what I was making.

It's was toxic to my soul and housed alot of "sleeping zombies"

Sleeping Zombies are those who are 100% plugged into a job that is repetitive, offers great "benefits", has abusive bosses and the pay is lousy....and I mean really lousy.

They pride themselves on "seniority"....ya know....like who's been there the longest really matters to them.

It's a union gig.

Oh yeah!

Dont get me started the union dues.

Ufff.rrrrrrrghhggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! ...sorry flashback

Anyways....

So sleeping zombies are basically people who are in mundane job positions but feel trapped because they've given up on any kind of leap of faith. 

Anything out of the ordinary for these souls and they are clearly thrown off course.

And they will always appear "happy"....always "smiling" ...but often crying and staring out the window of a 32 story corporate building.

It is depressing.

I was depressed.

I became depressed.

Geeeez, I get chills just thinking about this place.

(FLASHBACK STARTS)

I remember arriving in the office on the first day of work ....LATE and on-purpose.

The welcome letter said something about a meeting with the supervisor @ 8am.

8AM?!!?!?

....YEAH RIGHT!!! ....that's gonna be problem.

I'm usually just rolling over to hit the next 15 minute snooze about that time.

Besides, in celebration of my arrival from the Bay to L.A., the boys wanted to get out & get some party!

So what was I to do?

Well....

It was a wild party.

Come on, back in the Bay in 2004 there weren't any spots I was aware of that was crak'n on a Sunday night.

And besides we were only suppose to just out for drinks.

The bar turned into a full-on club that opened up a downstairs area, main area and huge outdoor patio.

It was predominantly latino-latina crowd.

But I was cool with that.

I love all women.

Anyways....

These nuts (my boyz that is) wanted to introduce me to Irish Car Bombs.

My one buddy is a full blooded irishmen born & raised in L.A. who kind of resembles a cross between pop-eye & ed norton. But with more tattos than my young punk of a brother.

But this kat was cool.

The other kat is this brotha who looks more middle eastern than black. He actually looks mixed. However, he is 100% black man.....with a blood line of the white man someone within his ancestry.

He'll deny it though. Whatevah!

Soooo....

4 Irish Car Bombs later and I'm throwing fine latinas in the air like we use to do at the clubs in SF.

When the alarm went off @7am, I called into the office and left a message:

"Hi Blah-blah-blah,  This is blah-blah-blah....Ummm so yeah, I  was suppose to drive up on Saturday night but I had car issues and didn't leave until last night. So I really need to get some rest as I didn't get in until 3am this morning. If it's ok with you I'll be in around uhhhh.... 1pm. If there's a problem with that, please give me a call on my cell and we can discuss, but I really want to start the monday a little refreshed. Thanks and see you around 1. Bye"

She actually called me back.

I answered the phone like " Huh?....what'?? ....who is this....what do you want??!? why are you calling my phone so damn early???"""

It was my new supervisor.

I knew it was her.

I played it off like someone had been calling my phone &  harrassing me while I was attempting to get some zzzz's so I could get into work (yeah right!)

That was my tactic to throw her off a bit and also to feel guilty calling me.

It worked.

She was all apologetic for waking me up.

And then she asked if it would be best for me to come in on Tuesday, so I can get some proper rest.

I said....noooo......" Let me just get a couple more hours of sleep and I'll see you @ 1pm this afternoon, ok?"

It was 8:15am....I slept until about 1o'clock.

I didn't arrive in the office until about....2pm.

She was like "Oh I thought maybe you'd changed your mind to get some more rest and I wouldn't see you until tomorrow...hahahahahaha"

And I was like (to myself) " Uhh....no.... stupid lady.....if I dont work, I dont get paid...and if I dont get paid, I'm out sh** out of luck!"

(WAIT A MINUTE....I skipped the part about me walking into the lobby after stalling for more time as I attempted to find parking on the streets. We had a parking garage and I was given the directions...but I wanted to play dumb like "I couldn't remember")

(Sometimes you have to play dumb just so people do not feel intimidated by your being and powerful presence. I knew this gig was temporary. What I didn't know was for how much of this gig I could take before I went insane. Aparently, not too long...)

When i arrived in the lobby, there was a couple of yahoo's hanging about who looked like they totally didn't belong in the place. It was a strange crew for this kind of organization, but in truth...I had eye-witnessed stranger beings back @ home....up North.

One dude look like a young rocker-like hipster cool white dude. Looks like he might roll a skateboard to work.

The other kat looked like he could definitely be a famous starring handsome-hopeless romantic roles-actor type or the lead singer for a kickass band.

This other dude, was a brotha....with blonde dreadlocks...

.....uhhh, yeah.

I mean when I say strange crew.....that's sort of a good thing.

These kats had "misfits" written all over their faces....my kind of crew.

I proceeded up the elevator with the crew and introduced myself as they all worked for the company but on different floors and various departments.

I say to myself the entire ride up " No expectations."

This is something that echoed at times to remind of my leap of faith.

Trust me when I say ....I couldn't make this stuff up, if someone paid me.

Really I couldn't.

anyways....

So......When I got off the elevator, there was this dude behind a glass window who reminded of a big stoner hawaiian dude from berkeley somewhere.

These were some of the people that I'd be working with over course of the next year & a half.

Only one year & half?....one might ask....

BECAUSE......That's all I could stands....and I couldn't stands it no more!!

:-)

I remember it vividly as if it were yesterday...

As I'm sitting in the new supervisors office after she gives me a tour of the place.

And like like all supervisors on the first day of a new employee.... she asks the question " Any questions?"

Aaand Of course I have a question.

I always got a question.

I always got a FEW questions to tell the truth.

But my one question, if answered correctly, would be the tell all to end all....

My question to ms supervisor?....."So ummm, Did I miss the Monday meeting?"

She says..."what meeting?"

And I say..."ya know the one where the attorney's & assistants get together to try and make things run even smoother. ya know....sort of an outlook ...umm forecast of things to come type of meeting"..."ya know the ones that usually start off the week with a bang!?"

Her reply...."oh...no....no....ummm nothing like that. Oh ....we do have a pot luck like every other month....every participates.....it's fun ...I think you'll enjoy it......but ummm as for meetings.....no....no meetings"

Right then and there, I wanted to lunge right out the window that was overlooking the near by highway.

If these people weren't starting off their week with a monday morning pow wow.....what the hell could I have gotten myself into? ....

And then she shows me to my new desk.

The desk is part of a cubicle where my back is to everyone.

It's Fung Shwwww.....NO!

To make matters worse.....the computer just has internal email. You can email from the companies email to other branches or your personal email account but there is absolutely not internet access to any programs, the world wide web.....nothing!

WHAT THE *******!!! is GOING ON HERE!!

This is prison.

I'm being punished.

WHyyyyyyyy!!!!?!?!?!??!?!?!

I send an email to my yahoo account.....

....I leave the subject blank.....

....I start....."Dear God what have I done!?!"

The rest is a very ...very short but long story.

The gig served it's purpose.

I was out of there in less than a 1 1/2....

I spent part of 3 months under psychiatric evaluation for depression & anxiety.

During this time.....

....If I recall correctly, my favorite aunt...and the woman responsible for getting me the gig had passed.

A couple of years prior my moms old boyfriend, who was pretty much the only father figure I ever seen at home....also passed.

It had appeared that death had awaken my deep consciousness in the leap of my awakening.

Things became dark for me.

I was living alone but not really.

I had a roommate but he had taken a gig up north, so he commuted every other weekend or so to & from the Bay.

In the middle of the North Ridge Valley followed by a repossession on my vehicle, I'd just hit rock bottom...but I still had a roof over my head....which meant I still had my faith!!

I surrendered.

I surrendered to God my soul for help.

He was my only way back to sanity.

I prayed. I meditated. I prayed. I meditated. I worked out. I played music.

I started to feel better again.

Slowly and surely..

With this surrendering started my awakening.

I was enlightened to continue my journey with my leap of faith.

I was enlightened not to give up......

...to dig deep within my consciousness and bring out the man that wants to become more than just a man.

A man.....who wants to go through struggle.

A man who wants to know God.

A man who does not want to fail at this thing he has come to know as life.

But is this about his life?

What does God have in store for his young black man who has taken the leap of faith to remove himself from his upbringings and surrounding....

...to know that God has something more for me as he will have to sacrifice some of what he believes is to be himself.

He will have to remove himself from his immediate family.

He will have to tell old friends, good-bye.

He knows not what's ahead.

He's just been told.......been shown that the world is bigger than the backyard he brought up in.

He's been told he has a destiny on this planet as it is in heaven.

He has been in slumber.

He is awakening though....

....he is evolving.

God Blessed this man.

This man is gonna evolve the world.

Next Blog....The Awakening....4 years later.....