Being comfortable being you...

Normal.

Abnormal.

Totally different from each other.

Yet similar.

But not.



I've lived my life in fear.

Fear that someone, somebody...somewhere will know my secret.

My one secret that I keep to myself.

Something that I dare not discuss with friends or family.

As if they do not know.

Or I pretend that I do not know.

I fit in, so my condition is'nt at all obvious when fully clothed.

My physicality is definitely not that of a "normal" human being.

Actually I'm 1 in 100,000 abnormally born persons in this world.

Lucky me.

I've walked the earth now for several years living in the unknown.

(41 to be exact)

So once it was described to me that my abnormality had a name(which was 8 years ago)...

....I felt both relieved and alone.

My walk in life has been down the road of Acceptance.

I tend to worry more about accepting myself more than I wonder about how people perceive or accept me.

However , my fear is that the ones that I've befriended over the years, if they were to ever find out about my condition that they would start to treat me differently.

I've seen how people treat others differently when they discover that something is different about that person that they cant visibly see....


Something in particular.

Some abnormality that isn't lacking in subtlety.

I enjoy the freedom of knowing that if a person is a natural born dickhead....

...I do not want that person to change their persona because they feel sorry for my condition....
...NO ...continue....continue to be a dickhead....if that's what you choose to be ...go right a head...
...it's your life.
You can do whatevah you like....!!

(isn't that a lyric to a song?)

Anways.....

Genuine.

People should be genuine in their understanding of one another.

Everyone's reality is something altogether different.

At different paces.

Different times.

Different time zones.

In other countries.

Right next door.

...

Learning to accept me ....first.

How can I expect someone to accept me if I dont accept me?

Question of my life.

I must evolve.

I must take my own advice.

I must.